I Can't Believe It's Not an Episode!
by Zoe Alice Latimer
Summary: A Cockney girl comes to Danville to discover what Phineas and Ferb are doing. Meanwhile, Isabella suspects that Anna has feelings for Phineas and schemes to get rid of her.
1. Chapter 1: Cockney in Town

Author's Notes: Ignore the slight arrogance of the title.

_Wotcher_ is a semi-common Cockney contraction of "What are you up to?" Phineas, oblivious as he is to such things, probably wouldn't notice the missing _doin._ Special thanks to friend and user Sara Eleanor Rose for this, other corrections of my Cockney, and all other input she had.

Review the story, please. My first object is staying true to canon characters; my second… probably not being boring!

I do not own Phineas and Ferb, but Anna Latimer is my own creation, and might be considered some form of the despicable Mary Sue, which does not bother me as much as it should.

* * *

**Cockney in Town**

Anna Latimer arrived in Danville of the Tri-State Area for one reason, and one reason only: to meet Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher. She could never forget the day in England she had heard a pointy-faced, ginger-haired kid utter the immortal words, "Ferb, I know what we're going to do today!" The next thing she knew, she was water sliding around Big Ben onto the London Eye. She had never had such fun in her life, and she wanted in on more. Now, if she could only find the right house…

Phineas and Ferb were working on their latest scheme. By this time, midmorning, they were well into the design and had begun to order things they needed. With the entire hullabaloo, it was a wonder that Candace was still asleep, and that Phineas could hear someone knock at their backyard gate.

"Hey Ferb, will you see who's at the gate?" Phineas yelled. "I'm kinda busy with the cannon!"

Ferb went to the gate. At first he couldn't tell that _anyone _was there, but sure enough, when he opened it he saw a short girl with chocolate-colored hair in a thick ponytail. She wore a Union Flag shirt, and her eyes popped when she saw Ferb.

"Would you be Ferb Fletcher, then?" she asked in a light Cockney accent.

He nodded, eyes growing wide.

"_Oh, bril_liant! Absolutely brilliant to meet you!" she exclaimed, taking his hand and pumping it up and down.

A cannon fired. "Ferb, it works just like you said it would!"

Spotting Phineas, the Cockney girl dashed off, leaving Ferb dazed.

"Wotcher?" she asked Phineas.

"Hey, Isabella," Phineas said, turning around. "Today we're—whoa, dude!" He started laughing, bewildered. "I thought you were Isabella!"

"Did I hear my name?" a pretty soprano voice called. A girl with a pink bow and dress and long black hair skipped through the gate. She froze when she saw the unusual girl.

"Anna Latimer," Anna said cheerfully, wondering who this girl who hadn't been in England was.

"Isabella, for a second I thought she was you!" Phineas laughed.

"That's just messed up," snapped Isabella, not amused. Her face had gone blank.

"Must have been the ringing in my ears from the cannon," Phineas said with an oblivious smile.

"Must have been," Isabella muttered, eyeing Anna Latimer coldly. "When did _you_ get here?"

"I just flew in from England." She grinned.

"Oh, cool!" Phineas said with enthusiasm. "Ferb will be thrilled! Hey, welcome to Danville! We'll give you the best day ever!"

Isabella noticed that Anna blushed as Phineas called over to Ferb, "Ferb, I know something else we're gonna do today!"

Anna wandered off to explore the random objects strewn in the yard. She was particularly transfixed by a giant floating baby head.

Isabella mimicked Phineas, scowling. "'Welcome to Danville! We'll give you the best day ever!' 'I thought she was you!'" She pulled out a Fireside Girl walkie-talkie. "Girls, it's time to get our rival-for-Phineas-prevention patches!"

"Okaaaay…" said Gretchen on the other end, "but you don't have to use the walkie-talkie to tell us that."

"Why not? This is an important patch!" Isabella insisted.

"But we're already _here_," Katie said.

Isabella looked over to see Troop 46321 standing at attention next to her, be-sashed for action. "I thought I had pretty good reception for low battery," Isabella admitted.

Meanwhile, Baljeet, hopping up and down, and Buford, sulking and hulking, came into the Flynn-Fletcher yard.

"Some nut's been knockin' on every door in the neighborhood askin' for you guys," Buford grunted to Phineas.

"I think that nut is standing right there," Baljeet said, twitching nervously. He pointed to the short, brown-haired girl fiddling with a bundle of shoelaces lacking aglets.

Phineas tapped his wrench absentmindedly. "Yeah, that's Anna… Latimer, I think."

"What's she doin' here?" Buford asked.

"Having the best day ever," Phineas said with a smile. "Isn't that what the rest of us are doing here?"

"I am here because Buford locked me out of my house. May I use your bathroom?" Baljeet said, fidgeting uncomfortably.

"Dude, why didn't you say so in the first place? Go, go!" Phineas cried, shooing him inside.

"Gross," Buford said with a huge grin.

Phineas glanced back down at his plans, then at his wrench. He just didn't have enough room for the design in his head. He pushed his red hair back. "Hmm. Ferb, we're gonna need a bigger paper."


	2. Chapter 2: Anna Joins the Fireside Girls

**Anna Joins the Fireside Girls**

"You drew on the house?" Candace shrieked, her hands in her hair. "Oh, you are SO busted!"

"Candace, you're awake!" Phineas said cheerfully. "You're just in time. We're ready to start building."

"I'm telling Mom!" Candace cried, and marched off, parading her cell phone high in the air.

Phineas looked at Ferb with a shrug. "Think we should tell her it comes out with water?"

"What _is_ it, exactly?" Anna Latimer asked, trying to make out the plans on the side of the house.

"Well, it's—" Phineas began. A truck at the front of the house honked, interrupting. "Oh, the metronomes must be here! Ferb, can you explain to her?" He grinned and walked off.

"Phineas seems to order you around a bit," Anna commented to Ferb, after a moment. He didn't seem to acknowledge the comment. "But… you don't seem to mind, do you?" Anna tried again. "I guess you're a man of action, then."

He looked up briefly.

"So… what can you tell me about Phineas?" she ventured.

"He's a boy genius living life on a rollercoaster of creativity and awesome," Ferb said. Anna clapped her hands, delighted.

"This has got to be stopped!" hissed a voice from the tree above them. Isabella, in full Fireside Girl getup, dropped out of the tree.

"Well... that was unexpected," Anna said, flicking her hair and a leaf aside.

"I meant," Isabella said quickly, as more Fireside Girls jumped from the tree, "you look so bored. You have nothing to do but bother Ferb with questions… about Phineas." Her sweet voice darkened sinisterly.

"Uh…"

"But we're going to take care of that!" Isabella said, with a bright fake smile. "How would you like to join Fireside Girl Troop 46321?"

"Seriously?" asked Anna, looking touched. "I mean, you'd let me?"

"Of _course,_" Isabella said, putting her arm around Anna.

"Well, I…" Anna looked at Ferb. He shrugged indifferently. Phineas was just walking in with a cart load of what seemed to be pinwheels and plastic flamingos. "First I'd like to ask Phineas what he's doing."

"Absolutely not!" Isabella barked. "This is a limited time offer, girl! Take it or leave it!"

"You Yanks," Anna sighed, but she was grinning. "All right, then. I'll be a Fireside Girl."

* * *

"Every Fireside Girl has a personal formation," Isabella told Anna, her fingers impatiently tapping her clipboard. "You'll get into yours when I yell, 'FORMATION!' Got it?"

Anna shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. What'll mine be?"

"You guess? That's not the right attitude for a Fireside Girl! Be assertive!"

"I'm very assertive that I want to know what my… formation… will be," she said.

"Like this." Isabella stood straight, almost at attention, but with her hand over her mouth.

Anna's eyebrow went north. "Are you sure—"

"FORMATION!" Isabella yelled.

Anna paused a moment, looking further confused, and put her hand over her mouth.

"More vigorously," said Isabella, propping Anna's elbow higher and straightening her shoulders. She gave Anna a nod of approval and smiled. "There. See, you're a natural."

Anna moved her hand and asked, "How come the other Fireside Girls aren't getting into position?"

"Mine requires a breakdancing course," said Holly. "Which I haven't completed."

Isabella looked as if she wanted to give Holly a high five. One by one, the Fireside Girls gave excuses. Only Milly stared blankly and ended by saying, "I… uh… forgot mine."

Anna considered the whole business rather suspicious (because it was), but cooperated for no particular reason. After all, how much occasion for such a formation could there be? On the whole, that she had no time to sew a Fireside Girl uniform was her only apparent cause for regret.

When the Fireside Girls returned from their clubhouse to the Flynn-Fletcher backyard, Anna saw Phineas in a bright orange hard-hat, talking to a stylishly dressed newswoman.

"One more question for the _Gazette_, please," the woman said. "Aren't you too young to have such a terrible fashion sense?"

"Yes. Yes I am." Phineas smiled brightly.

Anna grinned. _Well, it does match his shirt,_ she opened her mouth to say.

"FORMATION!" Isabella roared.

Like an idiot, Anna slapped her hand over her mouth.

Phineas did a double take and blinked. "You saw that, too, right?" he asked Buford as the newswoman left, scribbling notes.

"Weird," Buford said.

Isabella sidled up to him. "It's Fireside Girl standard procedure," she said buoyantly.

"Okay," he said with a shrug. "Carry on."

Under the tree in the yard, Ferb turned down his fire drill and pushed up his helmet to check the blueprints on the wall. His green hair was smushed against his forehead.

Seeing that Isabella was busy adjusting Phineas's hard-hat, Anna slid over to Ferb and tried to find out what exactly the blueprints were. "So, Ferb, wha—"

"Eep! FORMATIONS!" Isabella screeched, frantically running to Anna's side.

By the time Ferb looked up, the two were gone. For a moment he seemed confused, but Candace, punching buttons on her cell phone, marched up again to yell in his and Phineas's ears (Ferb presumed, to tell them about how cool their project was).

And Isabella had dragged Anna Latimer, stubbornly crossing her arms and refusing to get into "formation," to the edge of the Flynn-Fletcher yard.


	3. Chapter 3: Expert Obstacle Navigations

**Expert Obstacle Navigations**

"I'm sorry, Isabella, but I just can't handle it anymore!" Anna shook her head, her ponytail wagging.

Isabella lifted her chin.

Sympathetically, Anna patted the taller girl's arm. "I don't know what sort of mad formation you have, but mine is just too much. I'll have to quite the Fireside Girls."

Isabella threw up her hands. "I tried! Well, are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

"If you had a sash, I'd say you're unworthy to wear it," Isabella said loftily. "As it is, I suppose banishing you from Phineas's backyard will have to do."

Anna's eyes grew wide. "You can't do that!"

"Yes, yes we can," Isabella said. After a moment of silence, she coughed, and the troop got into a tight circle around the ex-Fireside Girl.

Anna blinked several times. "What? It's not your backyard!"

"That doesn't really matter. We outnumber you," Isabella pointed out. "Girls! Time to get those patches!"

Half of the troop mobbed Anna and literally carried her off the property. She yelled for Phineas and Ferb, but the other half drowned her out as Isabella, in record time, had them build a fifty-foot high obstacle course around the yard.

Isabella had effectively forced and blocked Anna Latimer from the Flynn-Fletcher backyard.

* * *

"I've got the last part, guys," Phineas announced.

"Can I do the honors?" Baljeet asked. "I promise not to put it on backwards this time, or to break it, or to stun your neighbor's cat."

"Ah, good times! Sure, Baljeet."

Candace threw open the sliding glass door, holding her cell phone out to snap pictures. "Mo-o-om!"

The kids stood back and admired their day's play. Phineas sighed happily. "It's a perfect—"

An enormous wave of greenish water crashed into the yard, completely washing away the project and the blueprints on the wall. Though unable to knock over Isabella's obstacle course, it temporarily blocked it from view and permanently distracted from it. On the wave's way out, it swiped Candace's phone.

She blinked rapidly, trying to process the last six seconds as her empty hand opened and closed several times.

Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher hurried to Candace, having heard the wave. "Is everything okay?" She surveyed Candace's dripping body. "What happened?"

Candace's mouth dropped open. "Quite frankly, I don't know! It must be a universal conspiracy against me!"

Linda nodded hesitantly. "Let's have a talk about your… creative theories, hon."

Candace moaned and slumped inside.

"Well, that was exciting!" Phineas exclaimed, wringing water from the top of his triangular head. "Is everyone okay?"

Baljeet nodded.

"That… was… AWESOME," Buford said.

Phineas looked around. "Hey, where are Anna and Isabella?"

Adyson, who had stayed behind as a cover-up, said sheepishly, "Oh, Anna… um… had to leave, and Isabella decided to... go partway with her."

Phineas looked around again, as if to say something else, but looked surprised and suddenly added, "Where's Ferb?"

Adyson shrugged.

"Where's Perry?" he finished.

"He's right there," she said and pointed to his feet, where Perry sat, a wet but mindless domesticated animal.

"Huh, that's weird," said Phineas, not giving it a second thought.

Meantime, immediately before the wave Ferb had noticed Anna had gone missing and had set out to look for her. Instead, he had discovered the most obvious unnoticed object the world has managed so far.

Ferb took a moment to assess the situation. Then he began to navigate the course like a superhero: diving through tunnels, swinging over hurdles, and sailing headfirst down slides. Also like a superhero, he flipped around the monkey bars and landed on his feet between Isabella and Anna, who were arguing vigorously. They stopped arguing, of course.

Ferb pointed to Anna, to the obstacle course, and to the Flynn-Fletcher backyard.

Isabella crossed her arms. "Nuh-uh!"

His eyes narrowed slightly. Isabella gave him a sullen, venomous look. "Fine," she said suddenly, "don't get all worked up. I'll take it down and let her in. Fireside Girls! Procedure 7.84!"

"Yay! We finally get our dismember-an-obstacle-course patches!" said Ginger.

"There's a patch for that?" Anna asked.

Isabella said ominously, "There's also a dismember-girl-who—"

Ferb coughed, and Isabella flounced off and proceeded to work for her new patch.

Ferb started to walk back, motioning Anna to follow, and added, "By the way, we found Perry."


	4. Chapter 4: Anna Gushes

**Anna Gushes**

As soon as Ferb was out of sight, Anna melted (figuratively, of course). "Oh, he's just wonderful, isn't he," she gushed, waving her hands dramatically as she spoke in one breath, "isn't he just… just dreamy and manly? And, I can't believe it—he must have gone looking for me, and he did all that just to bring me back! Oh, thank you, Isabella; because of you Ferb noticed me!"

Isabella's jaw dropped and her eyes bugged out. "You mean, all that time you liked Ferb?"

Anna stopped squealing and caught her breath. A sort of blank confusion on her face, she asked, "Is there… anyone else?"

Isabella made the face of a kid whose mother tells her not to touch a doughnut she's already eaten.

"Wait, hold on—you thought I like _Phineas_?!" Anna cried, finally figuring it out.

"Yeah," Isabella said defensively.

"FERB FOREVER!" Anna said with fiercely loyalty, raising her fist in the air.

A huge grin spread across Isabella's face, and she hooked her arm in Anna's.

"Would you like to be friends?" she asked, lifting her eyebrows.

Anna started, and then shrugged. "Okay."

As they walked back into the yard, discussing methods to get the boys to notice them, Anna could hear Candace screech from inside the house, "I'm not delusional! I swear!"

"What's she on about?" Anna whispered to Isabella.

"Don't worry about Candace; she'll get over whatever it is," Isabella said back.

"Oh, _there_ are Anna and Isabella!" Phineas called over. "Guys, take a look at this!"

They gathered around an impression in the ground that looked almost like the shadow of some sort of big fish.

"Ferb, do you think this mystery could have a possible bearing on what we do tomorrow?" Phineas asked his stepbrother.

Lying in the imprint, Perry chirped. As Anna bent down to pet him, Ferb actually smiled a little. She looked up with a slight blush.

"Well, Perry seems comfortable," she mumbled, trying not to smile infernally back. "He's not been here all day, has he?"

"He must have been," Phineas said, shrugging. "He doesn't do much."

Anna looked from Phineas to Isabella to Ferb. "Well then, he's missed out!"

* * *

_Ferb was reliving the moment Vanessa, the most beautiful girl he'd ever known, had kissed him. "Oh yeah… Thanks," she'd said, bending down until her lips touched his cheek. Flowers showered him as she walked away._

_Suddenly Ferb felt a hand on his shoulder. "Oi, Ferb," Anna Latimer said quietly. Somehow Vanessa had utterly vanished. "Sorry I missed all the fun today." She looked down, studying her purple trainers. She seemed nervous, and frighteningly eager._

_Ferb blinked._

"_But, I'll be here tomorrow to… you know… seize the day. So, see you then?" She swallowed._

_Ferb stared._

_Her feet wiggled so that her toes pointed inward. "Oh, and Ferb… thanks for helping me." In one moment she reached up, took the back of his head, and pulled him down to her height. Her lips hovered centimeters from his nose._

Ferb shifted in bed, disturbing Perry's comfortable position, and stroked the lazy platypus's greenish fur, which was still wet.

He (Ferb, not Perry) rolled over until he faced his old Chelsea phone booth, easily falling asleep again. Maybe he had a soft spot for Anna Latimer; maybe he didn't. It didn't really matter. One always needs a good night's sleep before the best day ever.

**The End**

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Thanks for reading my story! If anyone would like to see more of Anna Latimer, review and tell me! (Review anyway!) If I see no interest, more stories featuring her are unlikely.


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